如何克服社交焦虑 中信出版社

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如何克服社交焦虑 中信出版社

如何克服社交焦虑 中信出版社

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据统计,世界上40%的人都有社交焦虑障碍。社交焦虑是一种强烈的自我意识,有这种焦虑障碍的人总是担心自己说错话或做错事,他们在公众场合会觉得自己很突兀、很惹眼,会产生躲藏的冲动。而且无论在职场中还是生活中,他们都会备感压力。他们深信自己在某些方面有问题(太古怪、太笨拙、太烦人);或是在某些方面不够好(不自信、不擅长社交、能力不足)。而且,他们还会出现脸红、出汗、双手颤抖等生理现象,他们确信别人也会注意到这些变化…… 作为波士顿大学焦虑方向的研究者,埃伦·亨德里克森博士进行了多年的深入研究,也成功治疗了千千万万被社交焦虑障碍困扰的人(包括她本人)。在这本《如何克服社交焦虑中》,作者告诉我们,社交焦虑障碍从本质上说就是个人以一种扭曲的方式看待真实的自我,并将这种扭曲视为真实的心理表现。它会让我们放大(甚至是凭空想象)自己的缺点,忘记自己还有巨大的优点。无论社交焦虑的表现方式如何,它都会阻碍我们的工作进展,阻碍爱情和友情的加深,让我们痛苦和孤独。 基于埃伦博士多年的研究和临床经验,她在这本书中总结出针对社交焦虑障碍的有效治疗方法,通过一步步的实践,能够帮助所有挣扎在社交障碍中的我们,重新做回真实的自己,克服社交焦虑,进而改善生活的方方面面,拥有和谐融洽的人际关系。 
内容简介
你是否遇到过以下情况:
和老师、上司等人对话时,你会感到紧张
需要和别人进行眼神接触时,你感觉有困难
不得不当众表达自己的观点或感受时,你会感到紧张
和不太熟悉的人相处时,你会感到紧张
……
实际上,多达40%的人认为自己不擅长人际交往,并且会对社交活动产生焦虑感。社交焦虑已成为新时代的普遍现象,也是很多人在日常生活中会遇到的心理问题。而本书作者埃伦·亨德里克森博士在多年前也患有严重的社交焦虑障碍,并且让她对这个课题产生了浓厚兴趣。之后,她持续在攻克社交焦虑障碍这个方向上进行了深入研究,并取得了卓有成效的研究成果。
作者简介
【美】埃伦·亨德里克森(Ellen Hendriksen),曾在加州大学洛杉矶分校获得博士学位,并在哈佛大学医学院完成专业培训,目前为波士顿大学心理学系临床助理教授。多年来,她通过其获奖播客“精明的心理学家”和波士顿大学焦虑与相关障碍研究中心(CARD),帮助数百万人战胜了社交焦虑,做回了真实的自己。
目  录
前言 测测你的社交焦虑程度V
Part1
深度了解社交焦虑
第1章
社交焦虑是如何形成的?003
第2章
社交焦虑能给我们带来什么好处?023
第3章
社交焦虑的大脑里有什么?043
Part2
深入了解你的内在评判
第4章
内在评判是如何削弱我们的自信与勇气的?055
第5章
在线试读
     第1章 社交焦虑是如何形成的? 吉姆从没缺席过周日晚上舞蹈工作室的课。 室外,晚秋的金橙色叶子还挂在树上,在新英格兰的风中颤抖。室内,宽敞的大厅像个婚宴厅。大厅一侧摆着几张圆桌,上面铺着亚麻桌布,盛着水的玻璃杯散乱地放在桌上。厅里余下的大部分空间都留给了宽敞闪亮的硬木舞池,音响里正放着马文·盖伊的歌曲《多么甜蜜》。 大厅里挤满了人。大约20对学员站成松散的一排,在优雅的工作室老板、巴西人托马斯的指导下,练习东海岸摇摆舞。每个星期天晚上,托马斯都会来教授一次集体课,还把课变成了社交舞会,他给这个舞会取了一个名字:练习派对。托马斯放着音乐,跟大家说:“女士们、先生们,这是狐步舞!”“接下来,我们来跳伦巴!”学员们邀请彼此跳舞。在他们练习舞步时,老师来回走动,给予指导,调整学员舞姿:“一只手放在肩膀的这里,下巴抬起来!”56岁的吉姆4年前开始跳交际舞,现在已成了老学员。他身材修长,一头红发修剪整齐,显示出他的爱尔兰血统。 一天晚上,当小哈利·康尼克的歌曲《一个眼神一个微笑》最后一个音符放完,学员们都放慢了舞步时,托马斯靠近麦克风,眼中闪过一丝光亮,问道:“现在请大家把舞池留给真由美,好吗?”吉姆有点儿困惑。托马斯总是一首接一首地连着放歌,好让大家一直跳下去。但那晚不太一样。真由美是吉姆的老师,所以他礼貌性地鼓掌,转身走向一把折叠椅。托马斯继续说:“今晚我们将为大家献上一场惊喜表演——生日舞会!“吉姆呆住了。那天是他的生日。他们怎么知道?他没有告诉过任何人。他只好转身回到舞池,目光划过几十个人。真由美在一圈旁观者中站着,她面带微笑,向吉姆伸出了手。 时间和练习改变了一切。4年前,吉姆做梦也想不到自己会参加任何聚会,更别说是舞会。在舞会上,他得主动邀请女舞伴,在镜子前当着众人跳舞。 吉姆成长于20世纪六七十年代,在多切斯特的爱尔兰天主教教区长大,那里是波士顿市中心的一个工人阶级社区。吉姆的父亲性格沉着稳重,在哈佛当了30年的场地管理员;吉姆的母亲是一家保险公司的秘书。吉姆和弟弟瑞安在波士顿一栋三层公寓楼里长大,公寓楼里各家户型相同,公寓门廊连着木制台阶。放学后,吉姆、瑞安和邻居家的孩子们就会在街上闲逛。孩子们经常在一起玩街头曲棍球,轮流从街边的汽车下勾出滚进去的曲棍球。玩累了,他们就会成群结队去街角杂货店,用零花钱买他们几乎每天必买的饮料和小吃。 无论表面上看还是实际来看,这个社区的住户关系都很紧密。“我可以从卧室窗户跳到隔壁房子里,”吉姆回忆说,“房子挨得就这么近。这种紧密也说明社区很团结。如果有陌生人出现,周围的人会马上注意到,他们会走过去问陌生人:“有什么需要我帮你的吗?”所有人也会密切注意着孩子们。吉姆说:“住在那里很安全,虽然有时我也会招来小麻烦。我和弟弟出去玩,妈妈告诉我们不要过林登街,但我们还是会跑过去玩。等回到家,妈妈就会罚我们禁足。我问她,‘你怎么知道我们去那儿了?’她说,‘奥尼尔太太看到你们了,她给我打了电话。’‘我们做了什么坏事都逃不过大人的眼睛。’同时,无论去哪里,我们都是安全的。我不想在别的地方长大。” P3-5
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