正面管教(修订版)
1、 畅销美国400多万册，被翻译成16种语言畅销全球；
2、 让数百万孩子、父母和老师受益终身的经典之作；
3、 自1981年本书*版出版以来，《正面管教》已经成为管教孩子的“黄金准则”
4、 简·尼尔森——教育学博士、杰出的心理学家——在本书中告诉21世纪的父母和老师们：
惩罚和娇纵为什么对孩子都不好，并且不管用？
怎样用既不惩罚又不娇纵的正面管教方法培养孩子受益终生的良好品质？
如何用正面管教方法自动消除孩子的不良行为？
如何赢得孩子与父母和老师的合作？
如何消解大人与孩子之间的权力之争？
“超级父母”对孩子会有什么危害？
各种性格的父母对孩子会有什么正反两方面的影响？父母如何发挥自己性格中的优点，避免缺点给孩子造成的不良影响？
老师们如何避免对孩子造成管教问题？
从3岁到青春期的十几岁的孩子以及孩子的父母和老师，都将因为本书而彻底改变家里和学校的气氛，改变自己的人生。
没有哪个父母不为了孩子而竭尽全力，但*美好的愿望却不一定给孩子带来*好的结果。
自1981年本书*版初版以来，《正面管教》已经成为了管教孩子的“黄金准则”，本书被翻译成16中语言，在美国销量超过400万册，在美国之外的国家销量超过200万册。自1987年*次修订之后，每10年修订一次，本书根据英文原版的第三次修订版(2006年出版)翻译，该版首印数为70多万册。
正面管教是一种既不惩罚也不娇纵的管教孩子的方法……孩子只有在一种和善而坚定的气氛中，才能培养出自律、责任感、合作以及自己解决问题的能力，才能学会使他们受益终身的社会技能和生活技能，才能取得良好的学业成绩……如何运用正面管教方法使孩子获得这种能力，就是本书的主要内容。
【美】简·尼尔森（Jane Nelsen ）教育学博士，杰出的心理学家、教育家，加利福尼亚婚姻和家庭执业心理治疗师，美国“正面管教协会”创始人。她是7个孩子的母亲，22个孩子的奶奶或外祖母，还是2个孩子的曾祖母。曾经担任过10年的有关儿童发展的小学、大学心理咨询教师。她是18本著作的作者或合著者，是众多著名育儿及养育杂志的顾问。她于2013年5月中旬至6月初展开“正面管教中国行”，在北京、上海、深圳三地的公开演讲受到了中国父母的热烈欢迎。
序言及致谢
引言
第1章正面的方法
正面管教是一种既不用严厉也不娇纵的方法……它以相互尊重与合作为基础，把和善与坚定融为一体，以此为基石，在孩子自我控制的基础上，培养孩子的各项技能……
当心！是什么在起作用！/ 10
如果既不严厉也不娇纵，那该怎么办？/ 12
和善与坚定并行/ 13
相反相吸：当一个家长和善，而另一个坚定时/ 18
帮助孩子体验到归属感和自我价值感（心灵纽带）/ 18
是否长期有效？/ 19
教给孩子具备良好品格所需要的有价值的社会和生活技能/ 19
正面管教之旅/ 20
（第三次修订版）
让我激动不已的是，《正面管教》已经出版发行了25年，并且现在已经被公认为是一部经典。更让我激动的是，我从那么多父母和老师那里听到《正面管教》怎样让他们的家庭和课堂发生了巨大的改善。下面这两条评论是其中的代表：“执教25年之后的今天，我就要退休了。孩子们在这25年中的变化多大啊。然而，《正面管教》帮助我适应了这种变化，从而更好地与孩子们相处，我真想再当25年老师。”“我的孩子并不完美，我也不完美，但我现在真正能够享受到为人父母的快乐了。”
所以，你可能会奇怪，既然这么成功，为什么还要对这本书进行修订呢？原因很简单，在过去的这25年中，我又学到了很多东西。25年来，我有幸在各种研讨会和讲座上和成千上万的父母和老师一起探讨，分享他们的成功，倾听他们的苦恼。我因此知道了哪些方式很有效，哪些需要做些调整，哪些需要特别强调，而且有一些新的想法也需要包括进来。
在第1章，你会看到“有效管教的4个标准”。父母和老师们发现，这些标准有助于理解管教方式之间的区别，以及什么能够给孩子带来长期的积极效果。这4个标准帮助他们消除了对孩子不尊重的、没有长期效果的错误管教方法。
我有时会疑惑惩罚和娇纵之间的较量是否永远不会停止。似乎很多人都从这两个考虑问题。那些认为惩罚有效的人，通常就会惩罚孩子，因为他们认为不惩罚就只能娇纵。那些不相信惩罚的人，常常走向另一个，并对孩子过于娇纵。正面管教能够帮助大人们找到一条既不惩罚也不娇纵的中间路线。正面管教倡导的是和善而坚定，并且把有价值的社会技能和人生技能教给孩子。
在这个修订版里，你会发现我们对和善而坚定有更多的强调。父母和老师们似乎对这一概念理解得仍然不到位。部分原因在于他们把和善与坚定看成了非此即彼的两个词。我发现用呼吸来做比喻也许能对大家有帮助：如果我们只吸气而不吐气——或者只呼出而不吸入，会怎样？答案显而易见。和善还是坚定，不是什么性命攸关的事情；但和善而坚定却能决定我们对孩子管教的成功与失败。还要知道，当你既和善又坚定时，和善能抵消过于坚定所造成的所有问题（反叛、抗拒、对自尊的挫伤），而坚定则能抵消过于和善所造成的所有问题（娇纵、操纵父母、被宠坏的小淘气鬼、对自尊的挫伤）。
Shipping Overview:
• Shipping: Standard Domestic Shipping within the United States charges first item USD 5.99 and additional item USD 3.0 each. Standard International Shipping from United Kingdom, Germany, Italian and Japan to the United States charges first item USD 9.99 and additional item USD 4.0 each.
• Import Duty: Everymarket collects applicable duties and taxes on goods imported into the U.S. at checkout, it's calculated based on the goods value multiply by the rate. For United Kingdom and China goods is 10%, Germany, Italian and Japan goods is 15%. We are committed to making your U.S. shopping experience simple and transparent. The method of delivery—either Delivered Duty Paid (DDP) or Delivered Duty Unpaid (DDU)—depends on whether duties and taxes are collected at the time of your purchase.
• Order Processing: Please allow 1-2 business days for order processing and preparation before shipment.
• Domestic Shipping: Orders within the U.S. are shipped via USPS or FedEx, depending on the origin of the product. Average transit times to the United States is 3 - 7 Business days and average transit times to International is 7 - 14 Business days
• International Shipping: Currently, we only ship within the USA.
• Tracking Information: Every order is trackable. You will receive a tracking number once your order has been shipped. Products may be shipped from various global fulfillment centers.
Shipping Delays:
Please note that shipping times may vary due to factors beyond our control, such as weather conditions, natural disasters, or peak holiday periods. While we strive to ensure timely delivery, the exact arrival time cannot be guaranteed and is managed by the shipping carrier.
Shipping Options:
-
Standard Delivery: Most orders are shipped within 3-7 business days. Larger items may utilize LTL shipping for safe handling.
-
Handling Time: We handle shipments on business days (Monday - Friday), with a preparation time of 1-2 days.
-
Additional Charges: Some items require additional shipping charges due to their size, weight, or special handling. These charges are specified on the product pages and are not eligible for shipping discounts.
-
Exclusions: Gift cards, packaging, taxes, and prior purchases do not count toward the minimum purchase requirement for free shipping. This offer is valid only for shipments to U.S. addresses, including Puerto Rico.
Delivery Details:
-
Estimates: Standard shipping within the US typically takes 3-7 business days. These are estimates and not guarantees.
-
Shipping Restrictions: We ship to all 50 states, Washington, DC, U.S. territories, and APO/FPO/DPO addresses. Shipping options vary based on the delivery address.
-
Remote Areas: Shipments to remote areas may incur additional charges or require pickup from a nearby shipping partner’s location.
Shipping Confirmation:
You will receive a shipping confirmation email with a tracking number as soon as your order is dispatched. If you do not receive this email immediately, please be assured that your items will arrive within the estimated delivery window provided at checkout.
Order Modifications:
If you need to cancel or modify your order, please contact our customer support immediately.
Issues with Delivery:
If your order shows as delivered but you have not received it, please contact the shipping carrier directly to resolve the issue. For persistent problems, contact our customer service at cs@everymarket.com.
Customer Support:
Our team is available 24/7 to assist you with any questions or concerns regarding your order. We are committed to ensuring a smooth shopping experience.
Return & Refund Policy Overview
Please review our return and refund policies below to ensure a smooth transaction process.
Return Policy
-
Duration: You have 30 days from receiving your item to initiate a return.
-
Condition: Items must be unworn, unwashed, with original tags and packaging intact.
-
Shipping Costs: Please contact us to initiate your return, we'll offer return label for free. Otherwise we are not responsible for the return shipping costs of the items.
-
Packaging: Ensure returned items are well-packaged to avoid damage during transit.
-
Tracking: Use a trackable and insured shipping method as we are not liable for items lost or damaged on return.
-
Initiating a Return: Contact us at cs@everymarket.com to start your return. We will provide a return shipping label and instructions upon approval. Returns without prior approval will not be accepted.
How to Return
-
Method: Returns must be sent back by mail to the address provided in the return instructions.
Return Label
-
Please contact us to get return labels.
Product Conditions for Return
-
Eligible Products: Returns are only accepted for items in new condition.
Nonreturnable Items
Certain items are not eligible for return:
-
Electronic devices after 30 days (e.g., computers, laptops, Kindles)
-
Gift cards, prepaid game cards
-
Perishable goods, live insects, some jewelry, some health and personal care items
-
Customized or personalized products
-
Items with special shipping restrictions
Refund Policy
-
Window: Eligible products may be returned within 30 days of delivery for a refund.
-
Refund Method: Refunds are processed to the original payment method or as store credit for items purchased with gift cards.
-
Processing Time: Refunds are processed within 3-5 business days after we receive the return; please allow additional time for shipping and bank processing.
Claims
Inspect your order upon arrival and report any defects, damages, or incorrect items immediately to allow us to address the issue. For claims, contact our support team with details of the issue.
Exchange Policy
For the quickest service, return your original item and place a new order for the desired product once your return is accepted.
Return Address
EveryMarket Customer Service 2101 E Terra Ln, O'Fallon, MO 63366
Customer Support
Available 24/7 for any questions or assistance needed:
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Phone: +1 (800) 660-3783
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Email: cs@everymarket.com
1、 畅销美国400多万册，被翻译成16种语言畅销全球；
2、 让数百万孩子、父母和老师受益终身的经典之作；
3、 自1981年本书*版出版以来，《正面管教》已经成为管教孩子的“黄金准则”
4、 简·尼尔森——教育学博士、杰出的心理学家——在本书中告诉21世纪的父母和老师们：
惩罚和娇纵为什么对孩子都不好，并且不管用？
怎样用既不惩罚又不娇纵的正面管教方法培养孩子受益终生的良好品质？
如何用正面管教方法自动消除孩子的不良行为？
如何赢得孩子与父母和老师的合作？
如何消解大人与孩子之间的权力之争？
“超级父母”对孩子会有什么危害？
各种性格的父母对孩子会有什么正反两方面的影响？父母如何发挥自己性格中的优点，避免缺点给孩子造成的不良影响？
老师们如何避免对孩子造成管教问题？
从3岁到青春期的十几岁的孩子以及孩子的父母和老师，都将因为本书而彻底改变家里和学校的气氛，改变自己的人生。
没有哪个父母不为了孩子而竭尽全力，但*美好的愿望却不一定给孩子带来*好的结果。
自1981年本书*版初版以来，《正面管教》已经成为了管教孩子的“黄金准则”，本书被翻译成16中语言，在美国销量超过400万册，在美国之外的国家销量超过200万册。自1987年*次修订之后，每10年修订一次，本书根据英文原版的第三次修订版(2006年出版)翻译，该版首印数为70多万册。
正面管教是一种既不惩罚也不娇纵的管教孩子的方法……孩子只有在一种和善而坚定的气氛中，才能培养出自律、责任感、合作以及自己解决问题的能力，才能学会使他们受益终身的社会技能和生活技能，才能取得良好的学业成绩……如何运用正面管教方法使孩子获得这种能力，就是本书的主要内容。
【美】简·尼尔森（Jane Nelsen ）教育学博士，杰出的心理学家、教育家，加利福尼亚婚姻和家庭执业心理治疗师，美国“正面管教协会”创始人。她是7个孩子的母亲，22个孩子的奶奶或外祖母，还是2个孩子的曾祖母。曾经担任过10年的有关儿童发展的小学、大学心理咨询教师。她是18本著作的作者或合著者，是众多著名育儿及养育杂志的顾问。她于2013年5月中旬至6月初展开“正面管教中国行”，在北京、上海、深圳三地的公开演讲受到了中国父母的热烈欢迎。
序言及致谢
引言
第1章正面的方法
正面管教是一种既不用严厉也不娇纵的方法……它以相互尊重与合作为基础，把和善与坚定融为一体，以此为基石，在孩子自我控制的基础上，培养孩子的各项技能……
当心！是什么在起作用！/ 10
如果既不严厉也不娇纵，那该怎么办？/ 12
和善与坚定并行/ 13
相反相吸：当一个家长和善，而另一个坚定时/ 18
帮助孩子体验到归属感和自我价值感（心灵纽带）/ 18
是否长期有效？/ 19
教给孩子具备良好品格所需要的有价值的社会和生活技能/ 19
正面管教之旅/ 20
（第三次修订版）
让我激动不已的是，《正面管教》已经出版发行了25年，并且现在已经被公认为是一部经典。更让我激动的是，我从那么多父母和老师那里听到《正面管教》怎样让他们的家庭和课堂发生了巨大的改善。下面这两条评论是其中的代表：“执教25年之后的今天，我就要退休了。孩子们在这25年中的变化多大啊。然而，《正面管教》帮助我适应了这种变化，从而更好地与孩子们相处，我真想再当25年老师。”“我的孩子并不完美，我也不完美，但我现在真正能够享受到为人父母的快乐了。”
所以，你可能会奇怪，既然这么成功，为什么还要对这本书进行修订呢？原因很简单，在过去的这25年中，我又学到了很多东西。25年来，我有幸在各种研讨会和讲座上和成千上万的父母和老师一起探讨，分享他们的成功，倾听他们的苦恼。我因此知道了哪些方式很有效，哪些需要做些调整，哪些需要特别强调，而且有一些新的想法也需要包括进来。
在第1章，你会看到“有效管教的4个标准”。父母和老师们发现，这些标准有助于理解管教方式之间的区别，以及什么能够给孩子带来长期的积极效果。这4个标准帮助他们消除了对孩子不尊重的、没有长期效果的错误管教方法。
我有时会疑惑惩罚和娇纵之间的较量是否永远不会停止。似乎很多人都从这两个考虑问题。那些认为惩罚有效的人，通常就会惩罚孩子，因为他们认为不惩罚就只能娇纵。那些不相信惩罚的人，常常走向另一个，并对孩子过于娇纵。正面管教能够帮助大人们找到一条既不惩罚也不娇纵的中间路线。正面管教倡导的是和善而坚定，并且把有价值的社会技能和人生技能教给孩子。
在这个修订版里，你会发现我们对和善而坚定有更多的强调。父母和老师们似乎对这一概念理解得仍然不到位。部分原因在于他们把和善与坚定看成了非此即彼的两个词。我发现用呼吸来做比喻也许能对大家有帮助：如果我们只吸气而不吐气——或者只呼出而不吸入，会怎样？答案显而易见。和善还是坚定，不是什么性命攸关的事情；但和善而坚定却能决定我们对孩子管教的成功与失败。还要知道，当你既和善又坚定时，和善能抵消过于坚定所造成的所有问题（反叛、抗拒、对自尊的挫伤），而坚定则能抵消过于和善所造成的所有问题（娇纵、操纵父母、被宠坏的小淘气鬼、对自尊的挫伤）。
Shipping Overview:
• Shipping: Standard Domestic Shipping within the United States charges first item USD 5.99 and additional item USD 3.0 each. Standard International Shipping from United Kingdom, Germany, Italian and Japan to the United States charges first item USD 9.99 and additional item USD 4.0 each.
• Import Duty: Everymarket collects applicable duties and taxes on goods imported into the U.S. at checkout, it's calculated based on the goods value multiply by the rate. For United Kingdom and China goods is 10%, Germany, Italian and Japan goods is 15%. We are committed to making your U.S. shopping experience simple and transparent. The method of delivery—either Delivered Duty Paid (DDP) or Delivered Duty Unpaid (DDU)—depends on whether duties and taxes are collected at the time of your purchase.
• Order Processing: Please allow 1-2 business days for order processing and preparation before shipment.
• Domestic Shipping: Orders within the U.S. are shipped via USPS or FedEx, depending on the origin of the product. Average transit times to the United States is 3 - 7 Business days and average transit times to International is 7 - 14 Business days
• International Shipping: Currently, we only ship within the USA.
• Tracking Information: Every order is trackable. You will receive a tracking number once your order has been shipped. Products may be shipped from various global fulfillment centers.
Shipping Delays:
Please note that shipping times may vary due to factors beyond our control, such as weather conditions, natural disasters, or peak holiday periods. While we strive to ensure timely delivery, the exact arrival time cannot be guaranteed and is managed by the shipping carrier.
Shipping Options:
-
Standard Delivery: Most orders are shipped within 3-7 business days. Larger items may utilize LTL shipping for safe handling.
-
Handling Time: We handle shipments on business days (Monday - Friday), with a preparation time of 1-2 days.
-
Additional Charges: Some items require additional shipping charges due to their size, weight, or special handling. These charges are specified on the product pages and are not eligible for shipping discounts.
-
Exclusions: Gift cards, packaging, taxes, and prior purchases do not count toward the minimum purchase requirement for free shipping. This offer is valid only for shipments to U.S. addresses, including Puerto Rico.
Delivery Details:
-
Estimates: Standard shipping within the US typically takes 3-7 business days. These are estimates and not guarantees.
-
Shipping Restrictions: We ship to all 50 states, Washington, DC, U.S. territories, and APO/FPO/DPO addresses. Shipping options vary based on the delivery address.
-
Remote Areas: Shipments to remote areas may incur additional charges or require pickup from a nearby shipping partner’s location.
Shipping Confirmation:
You will receive a shipping confirmation email with a tracking number as soon as your order is dispatched. If you do not receive this email immediately, please be assured that your items will arrive within the estimated delivery window provided at checkout.
Order Modifications:
If you need to cancel or modify your order, please contact our customer support immediately.
Issues with Delivery:
If your order shows as delivered but you have not received it, please contact the shipping carrier directly to resolve the issue. For persistent problems, contact our customer service at cs@everymarket.com.
Customer Support:
Our team is available 24/7 to assist you with any questions or concerns regarding your order. We are committed to ensuring a smooth shopping experience.
Return & Refund Policy Overview
Please review our return and refund policies below to ensure a smooth transaction process.
Return Policy
-
Duration: You have 30 days from receiving your item to initiate a return.
-
Condition: Items must be unworn, unwashed, with original tags and packaging intact.
-
Shipping Costs: Please contact us to initiate your return, we'll offer return label for free. Otherwise we are not responsible for the return shipping costs of the items.
-
Packaging: Ensure returned items are well-packaged to avoid damage during transit.
-
Tracking: Use a trackable and insured shipping method as we are not liable for items lost or damaged on return.
-
Initiating a Return: Contact us at cs@everymarket.com to start your return. We will provide a return shipping label and instructions upon approval. Returns without prior approval will not be accepted.
How to Return
-
Method: Returns must be sent back by mail to the address provided in the return instructions.
Return Label
-
Please contact us to get return labels.
Product Conditions for Return
-
Eligible Products: Returns are only accepted for items in new condition.
Nonreturnable Items
Certain items are not eligible for return:
-
Electronic devices after 30 days (e.g., computers, laptops, Kindles)
-
Gift cards, prepaid game cards
-
Perishable goods, live insects, some jewelry, some health and personal care items
-
Customized or personalized products
-
Items with special shipping restrictions
Refund Policy
-
Window: Eligible products may be returned within 30 days of delivery for a refund.
-
Refund Method: Refunds are processed to the original payment method or as store credit for items purchased with gift cards.
-
Processing Time: Refunds are processed within 3-5 business days after we receive the return; please allow additional time for shipping and bank processing.
Claims
Inspect your order upon arrival and report any defects, damages, or incorrect items immediately to allow us to address the issue. For claims, contact our support team with details of the issue.
Exchange Policy
For the quickest service, return your original item and place a new order for the desired product once your return is accepted.
Return Address
EveryMarket Customer Service 2101 E Terra Ln, O'Fallon, MO 63366
Customer Support
Available 24/7 for any questions or assistance needed:
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Phone: +1 (800) 660-3783
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Email: cs@everymarket.com
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